My electric mixer is vintage 1960's, from a summer cottage in Maine. This is what they used to get into town for replacement parts when the outboard motor broke down. I was serious enough about cooking for Mrs. Lizotte to leave it to me, among other kitchen genies. What follows is her whipped cream rough guide; what works in creating desserts the Antiprincess describes as having "accent marks and curlicues, an underbite, and an idiot hemophiliac nephew who's next in line for the throne."

Go visit my pal Bimbo for aforementioned rhapsody on whipped cream - and here's why; this part here, where she goes:

I don't know if I'm really this passionate about whipped cream. I am about cooking. Really, the most important thing in any dish is to respect the ingredients, the process and artistry, and through that, the people you're nourishing.

Amen. Preach on, sister.